As my artist's statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance. -- Calvin and Hobbes

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

What are you waiting for?


I know personally what it means to say, "I've waited half a lifetime to do what I really love." (Art!)

What is it about just having a 'job' that gives me that feeling of lack of accomplishment?

I've always been an artist. I've always created in various and sundry forms (term borrowed from my college history professor). I love to write, and some of it is even interesting. I'm a pretty good painter with some respectable work. I am a good singer, and I love to write and perform music. I designed clothing with my Mom. I even had a couple of obscure acting appearances in college. (Plus, I've nearly memorized the part of Mona in 'Best 'Lil Whorehouse in Texas' just in case--meet me at the karaoke bar!)

So, why do I feel like I haven't accomplished anything? Probably because I was so busy working for a paycheck that I never listened to the little voice inside that said, "Hey! You're as good as that or better, why don't you do that?!"

My Mother says it's tough when you're good at many things to choose a direction in life! I certainly can't blame my parents for having no direction. They were awesome. They used to post casting calls from the newspaper on the fridge for me. I went once, for a commercial, and I wasn't sure what to do, so I did the reading and never went to another. I think I've got a good shot, though, for the Oscar Meyer Wiener commercial next time I see the truck!! (For the record, my Mother is my biggest fan and supporter of my every endeavor!)

Well, the truth is, I don't see myself as being 'unfocused'. I've chosen many directions, and I've enjoyed success at several careers! It's just that, (and now I start whining) 'I wanna be an artist!'

I've noticed that people expect you to choose a career path and stick with it. There is something wrong with the person who continually changes careers, or who still lives 4 to an apartment at 35, while waiting for his big break.

Well, this could be one possible culprit:
Student loans (and social norms, btw) weren't really meant to include artists. Because once we get out of school from our liberal arts education, we have to get some job doing something other than what our degree is in order to pay back the loans, and as a result, never get around to doing what we love!

Lately, I have found solace in reading articles about others who have had similar life experiences and who are now doing just grand! They have something in common, they went for it, and they wouldn't let the deeply embedded need to be secure make them feel hopeless about wanting to pursue a career as an artist!

I'm focusing on this little reminder: It's YOUR life! Ignore negative people! Don't settle! Don't ever give up until you get what you want!

So, I'm starting now! The purpose of Smelly Rhino Studio is to show a persona of creativity; mine, and that being an artist takes many forms! I'm not alone, there are many many others like me. I hope that this blog in some way helps others, too. I hope it is appreciated. It doesn't really matter though, because this time, I'm doing it for me.
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